Leeann_the_Lion on Xanga

Saturday, 05 December 2009

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O Silêncio Q Precede O Esporro
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Xanga is the best

I decided to get back on Xanga because it is far more enriching then facebook or myspace. I don't think Xanga will be like it used to be though. I don't know anyone on here anymore. It used to be so much fun to go out and read everybodies blogs. There was like this whole group of Xanga friends and I miss that. Oh well. Things change.
Its hard to complain, and I want to be a thankful person anyway. I'm finally making a good group of friends here at PUC, so thats wonderful. I feel like my life is really fleshing out.
I never knew I could want to be anything as much as I want to be a teacher. It seems silly that it took me so long to figure it out. But I'm so excited. I love all of my classes. I really involve my whole self in my classes. Plus I get to do really amazing observations and labs in schools. For the past year I have had this sense of purpose in my life that I've never had before.
I have had a whole in my heart because I havn't been dancing, but in January I will start two dance classes; modern and belly dance. Their both in Napa, which will be pretty tolling on me. But I don't care. I want to really live. "I don't want to hold any part of me back." Thats what my friend Victoria always says. She has the most inspiring zest for life. Anyway, I know it will be hard to take dance classes and do school full time, but I've decided that it will be worth it to settle for a B and enjoy life. Sometimes I think I'm to hard on myself with school. School isn't the most important thing in life.
Thats one way I've changed sense I used to use Xanga. I'm not an over acheiver now, but I am a pretty serious acheiver. I have very high standards for myself. I want to be myself to the fullest, you know. I want to make sure I'm me to the fullest. Thats something thats developed in me over the past...two years I'd say. It comes from within me, but my boyfriend influences that drive in me aswell.
Yuri is really amazing. He is so intelligent and so full of joy. Sometimes I'm really suprised he was single when I met him. He's just so inspiring and uplifting to be around. He has such a positive and uplifting attitude. I feel very blessed to have him. He is brilliant and joyful. We spent the day together. Well, we always do on Saturdays. Its just fun. Its just really fun to be with him. Sometimes I wish we went out in nature more, but oh well, it was very cold today.
Well, anyway, I need to go to bed. I need to put in a full 8 hours of homework tomorow if I want this week to be at all bareable...
But you know what, I wouldn't have it any other way, when I stop to think about it. I didn't mean to point out how different a person I am now, but now that I am writing I can't miss it. I am just realizing how different I am. I didn't have the pressures and the stresses I have now. I didn't have the overwhelming responsibility. I didn't have the standards. Now, I have so many days when I think that I can't possibly get everything done. I'm a full time student, a supervisor at my job, a very commited girlfriend and friend. It brings so much stress! It really does bring SO MUCH STRESS! But at the same time I really think this is the happiest I've ever been. I get really frusterated with PUC sometimes, for different reasons. But when I stop to think about it, my life is much to complete for me to complain.
Hi everyone! I'm just getting started on Xanga... Drop me a comment if you've got some ideas on what to do first - or just to say, "Hi!"